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Her dilemma |
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She misses him. She doesnt know
what to do. She doesnt know anymore. Its hard, and all she wants is for
everything to be okay. Her stomach heaves, wanting the heartache to end. It feels as
though her heart has been ripped out, and she doesnt know whom to turn to. A part of
her wants him back, but another part wonders. She doesnt want to always wonder
what if. She wants to know for sure. And if she doesnt do it, shell
always wonder. So she pushes him away, and tries not to look back. But her heart had never
looked away. She tries harder and harder to avoid everything. Her heart cant handle
the pain anymore. Shes afraid of losing him forever, but its too late for that
now. Her head was turned by another, and she wishes it werent so. Because now she
wonders
that maybe this isnt it. And she feels sick, as though she shouldnt
doubt something like this. Something wonderful and true. Shes not god enough for
him. He deserves better than what she can offer, all she wants is the best for him. She
thinks that she needs to give him away, so that hell find the one for him, so that
hell see. She wants to know that hes happy. And she doesnt think that hes
happy with her. She doesnt feel that she can give him what she needs. She said that
she didnt think that she loved him. Her heart stopped at that moment, which told her
that she did love him. Her heart stopped dead cold, and froze right then and there. But
she cant keep doing this to him. Because it hurts more and more each time. She doesnt
want to know about any other woman in his life, itd kill her. All she wants is for
everything to disappear, everything but them. Itd be perfect then. Nothing to worry
about, no pain, no one to distract
but then again, maybe all of this is because she
cant accept his love right now. But she worries that shell realize her mistake
and then not be able to repair it. Everything is in such an upheaval right now, her world
is slowly shattering, in slow motion everything comes apart. |
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